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Navigating the Pressures of Being a Mum and Letting Go of Expectations

Navigating the Pressures of Being a Mum and Letting Go of Expectations

Being a mum is one of the most rewarding experiences, but it’s no secret that it can also be one of the most challenging. With so much advice, opinions, and expectations floating around, it's easy to feel like you’re not measuring up. Social media, Facebook Groups and even well-meaning friends can all add to the pressure to be the "perfect" mum. But here’s the truth: there is no such thing as a perfect mum!! And, moreso you don’t need to be one! You just need to be the best mum you can be for your babies.

It’s time to cut yourself some slack and let go of the expectations todays society tries to place on you. Let’s talk about how you can navigate the pressures of motherhood AND embrace the fact that you’re already doing a fantastic job.

The Pressures Mums Face

The moment you announce that you’re expecting, advice and opinions start pouring in. It seems like everyone has something to say about how you should be raising your child, feeding them, or even what kind of nappies you should use. The reality is that motherhood comes with a unique set of challenges for everyone, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.

Some common pressures mums often face include:

  • Feeding choices: Whether you choose to breastfeed, formula-feed, or a combination of both, there’s always someone ready to share their opinion on what’s "best" for your baby.
  • Returning to work: Some people will suggest you’re going back to work too soon, while others might judge you for taking time off.
  • Baby milestones: There’s pressure for your baby to hit certain milestones “on time.” If they don’t, it’s easy to start comparing your child to others. Remember every single baby is different, so comparing them to one another is just ridiculous!
  • Social media perfection: It’s hard not to get caught up in the highlight reels of social media, where it seems like every other mum is effortlessly juggling a spotless house, a thriving career, and perfectly behaved children.

It’s completely natural to feel overwhelmed by these pressures. But remember, just because someone else’s life looks perfect online doesn’t mean it is. Behind the scenes, every mum is navigating her own struggles, just like you.

How to Let Go of Expectations

The first step in letting go of societal pressures is recognising that you don’t have to meet anyone else’s expectations. Your main focus should be doing what’s best for you and your family. Here are some ways to help you let go of unrealistic expectations and embrace being the best mum you can be:

  1. Trust your instincts
    No one knows your child better than you do. Trust your instincts and do what feels right for your family, whether that’s how you feed your baby, handle sleep routines, or decide when to start solids. You’re the expert when it comes to your child’s needs.

  2. Embrace “good enough” parenting
    You don’t need to be a supermum to be a great mum. It’s okay if the washing piles up (in fact, its normal!), if dinner is super basic, or if you don’t have time for all the playdates and activities your kids want to do. “Good enough” parenting is about meeting your child’s needs and being there for them emotionally – and that’s more than enough.

  3. Limit social media consumption
    Whilst social media is fun to scroll, it can also be a source of comparison and unnecessary pressure. If you find yourself feeling inadequate after scrolling through your feed, consider taking a break. One thing I'm big on is unfollowing accounts that make me feel bad about myself. 

  4. Stop comparing
    Every mum’s journey is different, and that’s okay. What works for someone else may not work for you, and vice versa. Comparing yourself to other mums or your child to other children can take away from the joy of motherhood. 

  5. Set your own goals
    What does being a great mum look like to you? It doesn’t have to involve perfectly coordinated outfits or lavish gourmet meals. Maybe it’s about spending quality time with your child, listening to their stories, or just being present. Set your own goals for what matters most to you and focus on those.

  6. Give yourself grace
    Motherhood is filled with ups and downs. There will be days when everything runs smoothly and days that are complete and utter chaos. It’s okay to feel tired, frustrated, or even overwhelmed. Give yourself grace, knowing that you’re doing the best you can with what you have.

  7. Reach out for support
    Don’t be afraid to lean on your support network. Whether it’s your partner, family, friends, or a mums’ group, sharing your experiences with others can be incredibly comforting. You’re not alone in this journey!

You’re Already Enough

At the end of the day, what your child needs most is a loving and present mum, not a perfect one. The best gift you can give your child is a mum who feels confident in her own parenting choices and who loves herself as much as she loves her family.

So, if you ever find yourself doubting your abilities or feeling the weight of societal expectations, take a step back and remind yourself that you’re already enough. You’re doing your best, and that’s exactly what your family needs. Embrace your unique journey and take pride in being the amazing mum you already are.

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